Sundays are HARD at our house. Satan works so very hard on our family on Sundays. He works on each one of us in significant ways. He is trying so hard to pull us apart. I want to scream and rage at Satan, I want to punch him in the nose and say "Stay the hell away from my family!" See, he knows how to get me.
Part of the reason that Sundays are so hard is because it is the one day a week that we usually have a significant amount of time to spend together and we can rarely agree on how to spend it. I would be happy doing about anything if we were doing it together and really striving to enjoy it. That just never seems to happen. I often want to spend the day inside watching corny Hallmark type movies and playing games. B often wants to go out and go for a walk or hike or drive. The kids each have their own ideas of what would be fun that seem to clash with ours. B has told me several times recently that I try to force the issue of family time, that I try too hard. Maybe I do, I don't know. I just really really really want us to spend quality time together enjoying each other's company. I don't want to compromise on that, but either we are all miserable doing something together or I let everyone do their own thing. Either way I feel like I am fighting an unwinnable battle. Why should it even have to be a battle? Why can't I expect my family to be able to enjoy spending time just being together? It just seems like a half an hour or an hour and we're done, that's all we have to give to each other. Frankly, it scares me more than I want to think about. What if we can never heal our broken family?
I have learned recently that I can have an opinion and desires that are opposite those I love and it doesn't mean they won't love me. Well, I'm working on learning that anyway. However, something I have known my whole life is that I don't have to be doing something I like to do in order to have fun. I can be doing something that I really don't like doing and still have an incredible time. Why? Sometimes I do things I don't want to do just because it brings joy to someone I love. Is that wrong? Is it too much to ask of my family? I don't know. It seems that often times on Sunday it is.
All I want right now, from my family, is for us all to think of ourselves a little less and the rest of the family a little more. That doesn't mean we have to neglect our own needs and time and sacrifice our self-care. It just means that sometimes we do things just because it will bring someone we love joy.
Praying for joy,
T.
What if each person got a Sunday to choose their activity and the rest of the family joins them for it? Eg one Sunday B chooses and you all go hiking (for example), next Sunday you choose and you play a game together, next Sunday one of the kids...? It doesn't need to be done every week but on a rotational basis so it's fair. Just a thought!
ReplyDeleteAlso, growing up my parents never made family time on Sundays an issue...we would have dinner together then some of us would be watching a movie, others might be elsewhere reading etc. We tended to gravitate together at times, but it wasn't organised/planned unless we had FHE on Sunday. We have our moments but usually get along very well, so I don't think it did us much harm. Don't give up hope!
Thank you for the suggestions. We need to try something new that's for sure.
DeleteMaybe your family could decide what it means for you to keep the Sabbath day holy- include things to do as well as do nots- then you have a structure to start from. Include YW personal progress & scouts/Duty to God experiences. Then play a game, maybe cook dinner together as a family then take a walk. Just some suggestions. God made the sabbath for man- it's a gift for us if we use it right.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you & thanks for being open & honest. ��
This is why I love you my friend! You aren't afraid to help me find some perspective. Thank you for the suggestions!
DeleteT.