Tender Mercies

Today was a day filled with tender mercies. It was a day where I was reminded again and again that my Heavenly Father is watching out for me. I felt His presence very keenly today.

I haven't had individual therapy for almost a month because my therapist had a baby. Today I was able to get in for a session with the therapist that runs my LifeStar group. It was a blessing. She knows enough of my story that it wasn't a full first time assessment, she let me lead where we went and what we talked about. On my way to the session I was pondering what I wanted to talk about, and some of my history was on my mind. I felt prompted to share that with her. She gave me some insight about things I had never thought about and I felt a few pieces of the puzzle click into place that hadn't fit quite right before. It was enlightening. That was a tender mercy.

Towards the end of our session she said a couple of things to me that I really needed to hear. She told me that about 15 minutes into our session two things really struck her that she felt she needed to share. The first was her observation. when I was talking, about what a lovely person I am, how lovely my spirit is and what a beautiful woman I am. I could feel the sincerity radiating in those affirmations. I felt how genuine it was and it thawed a piece of my heart. It's been a long time since I felt that kind of a sincere compliment. The second thing she shared with me she told me came from the Spirit (of note, she is not affiliated with LDS Family Services but is a private practice therapist). She said that she had the distinct impression that my ancestors are surrounding me, fighting with me, supporting me, even the ones that I have no knowledge of. She said that even though there are a lot of my ancestors that I know nothing of, that they know me and are there supporting me. I was heartened and buoyed by this. My grandma is my safe person, always has been and I have felt her presence many times through this journey. When my therapist said this to me, I could feel the support of many. This was a tender mercy.

When I got to my car, I needed a few minutes to cry. There was just so many powerful emotions fighting for my attention that I couldn't hold them all and they spilled down my cheeks. I didn't feel ready to come home. I needed some time for me, some time to process and to talk to my Heavenly Father. He guided me to the Temple Visitor's Center. I walked around for a few minutes until I came to the display of televisions that play short videos and commercials about families. Here I stopped. I watched some of the videos, but it was the television commercials that really grabbed me. I watched every one of them, all told maybe 8 of them, so it was just a few minutes of my time. The messages they shared were simple, but He knew that they were just what I needed to hear today. The simplicity of the messages was just what I needed to ground myself and sort through the turmoil. This was a tender mercy.

I still refuse to be grateful for this trial, but I am so grateful for the person I am being refined into. This refiner's fire is fierce, but I am becoming strong and whole because of it. This is a tender mercy.

My wish tonight, is for all who read this to feel the tender mercies in their own life. I pray every day for all those suffering this trial that they may find peace and healing through God. I pray that we will all be able to find joy again and that we will be stronger for having walked this road.

Gratefully,

T.