Just Be You, Flaws and All

I have to tell you that our Heavenly Father knows me. He is aware of my needs and blesses me often. I know this because of many witnesses in my life. One of the ways this is witnessed to me is through the people He has placed in my life. I am truly blessed with amazing friends and family that love me.

One of the most amazing women that He has placed in my life is H. Now, H. and I met at a book club we both belonged to over 10 years ago. We didn't know each other super well until she was pregnant with her last child. Heavenly Father prompted me to start calling her at least once a week and checking on her. It was through these phone calls that I came to know and love her. She is truly a gift to me. She has seen me at my very worst and she still loves me unconditionally. She loves me enough to laugh with me, cry with me, make fun of me when I fart in public, and most of all just be there for me when I have needed her.

I often feel like it is a very lopsided friendship. I feel like she gives me so much more than I ever give her. I am so grateful to her for her love and acceptance. She is truly one of the best people I have ever met. (Crap! I'm tearing up just writing about her. She is THAT important to me). I cannot imagine my life without her in it.

I have been meaning to write this post for a couple of weeks, because she shared with me a thought that really touched something deep inside of me. If you have read my last post you might be able to see why.

We were talking about being honest with our kids and open in talking with them. She recently found out some information that was hard to hear about her niece. She didn't try to hide it from her kids, she was open and honest and let them ask any questions they needed to. I so admire this openness, and it is something I am striving for with my own kids. I told her how much I admired this about her and how awesome I think she is for talking about hard things with her kids. She told me that she didn't get that awesome by luck, but by swimming through a sea of crap first (which is true, she has, but I forget those parts of her story because they aren't what defines her).  I reitereated to her how awesome she is, her reply was what I found so profound.

"...I'm also average in many ways and sub par in others and I accept that and try to be my best amazing/average self. I don't dwll on my failings anymore, but I also try not to deny them. They're all part of me and it's how I handle my weaknesses that matters - not that I have them."

See? Profound right? She is also kind, wise, beautiful inside and out and funny. She truly shines on the inside and out. She is also humble.

I would love to be able to have her perspective. To be able to see and acknowledge my flaws without letting them define me. I don't see her flaws, or if I do they don't really stand out to me the way her good qualities do. I want to learn to be like she is, confident yet always growing.

Heavenly Father truly IS aware of me and I am so grateful for this fact.

Broken and flawed but blessed none-the-less,

T.