Thursday, May 16, 2019

A Black Hole and a View of the Universe

I've tried to write this post three times, and it's not going where I had intended it to go, so I'm just writing to see what comes out. Obviously what I wanted to say is not what I need to say. Music. When I started writing this post I was writing about the black hole I've been in lately. But a song came on and it has changed my entire message. It's called Hanging D by Joep Beving. I has created the image of the universe for me, stars, an colors, and flow. I don't even know how to express the sense of something bigger that has permeated me. God. My Heavenly Father knows that sometimes the best way to get me to feel is through music. Tonight He did that. So tonight, my message has changed from the one I had intended to share about pain and darkness, to one of light, freedom, and hope. 

There have been some really dark times in my life. Times when I wanted to give up and sit on the couch eating junk food and letting my life fall down around me. Recently that's where I have been. Tonight not so much. Tonight I feel hope. I have a sense of purpose because I feel that I am a part of something bigger. Not in the way that I feel that my problems are small or insignificant, or that I am small and insignificant. In a way that I am part of a bigger family, a village of people, both here and in a realm I cannot see. I am surrounded by love. Words are so inadequate right now to express the sense of feeling and being that I have. 

I love to write, but tonight words are failing me. There are two forms of expression that I carry no talent in. One is music, and the other dance. Right now I wish I did because I think I could express myself in a way that would get my feeling across. I don't know how to say it, so I will just share a link below to the video. The ending is unexpected, yet somehow it fits.


Hopefully, 

T.

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