Finally…What I've Been Waiting 17 Years For

This is the continuation of this post, so if you haven't read that one I would recommend reading it first.

B and I talked and talked, and I cried a lot, and he cried a little. We talked and cried some more, for about three hours. It was EXHAUSTING both physically and emotionally. It started out with both of us trying to get the other to see our point of view. I'm really not sure what happened to change the conversation…well by this point it was more of a very sincere monologue on my part. 

This frequently happens, I talk and talk and talk (I am working on this) and he retreats and retreats and retreats (he is working on this). This time something I said hit it's mark. I'm not sure what. I'm not sure when. But I do know how…his heart was softened by our Heavenly Father. That is the only explanation I have. I have waited seventeen years for him to realize that what he has put me through and what I have felt (or not allowed myself to feel as the case has been for many years) has been excruciatingly painful for me.  It's like he finally understood a little bit. The best part is the end of the conversation that pretty much left me speechless…

HE APOLOGIZED!!! Humbly, sincerely (I could feel the sincerity) and from his heart apologized for all the pain he has caused me. Holy shit! Ok sorry for that, but it was a moment I thought I would never see. It meant more to me than I can even describe. My husband, who has only thought of himself and what he needed for as long as I can remember, finally had a little bit of empathy for me. I am still in awe of the humility he showed. It really was a moment I want to cherish and reflect on because I know we will have many more rough patches ahead. 

In awe,

T.