It Takes A Village

We've probably all heard the phrase "It takes a village to raise a child". I have been reflecting on this a lot lately. I have realized that it not only takes a village to raise a child, but that we all need our own village to raise us up in our trials.

I had the opportunity to go to the wedding of a close family friend last night. At the wedding I was reunited with friends from long ago and it was so amazing. As I was surrounded by these wonderful people that I have always called my aunts, uncles and cousins (despite not being related by blood), I could still feel the love that has radiated from them for my entire life. My "cousins" and I were reminiscing about our childhood and how amazing it was. We were so blessed. We were safe. We were loved. We had a "village" to raise us that created an automatic family to love us.

I have realized that even though I have felt alone for so long, I still have a village. In fact, I am part of some amazing villages. I'm not native, but they have integrated me as if I was. I want to share with you a little about a couple of these villages.

B. and I have lived in our home for about three and a half years. We we were looking to buy our home, we both saw this one and knew it was where we were supposed to be. This has been reinforced to me over and over. Part of the reason for this is that the ward we move into is just exactly what we have needed. 

I will never forget the first week we went to church here, in Relief Society we were still doing the Good News Minute. Our amazing Relief Society President shared that her good news that day was that I was there. She noticed me. She loved me. She wanted me to know. What a powerful thing that was for someone that was used to hiding in the corner because she didn't feel worthy of being noticed. This wonderful woman's husband is now our Bishop, and while he hasn't always known what we needed, he has always been supportive of helping us find it. I have had faithful visiting teachers the entire time we have lived here. The day we were unloading our UHaul in our driveway, one of the ward members was running by and stopped to chat. He quickly gathered up any able bodies he could find and our truck was unloaded in about twenty minutes. This would have been no different if we had been non-members, he didn't even ask us that until we were done unloading. I have so many more examples of the love that has been shown to us. This is our village and I am so thankful to be a part of it.

The other village I would like to tell you about is an amazing group of women I have found online. The Togetherness Project and the Togetherness Community have literally been my lifeline lately. They are a village of women like me (WoPAs - Wives of Porn Addicts), who are all at different stages of life, have different marital statuses, different religions and husbands/ex-husbands in various phases of recovery (from denial to in recovery). None of that matters, we are just there to be each others support. This village has held me up more days than I can count lately.

These amazing women give freely of their support and their love. They have organized conferences. They have all sorts of information available to help us not only recover, but to reach out and share information with others. They are my village right now. They are helping hold me up at this time of my life. I am constantly amazed by their strength. 

If you are in need of a village to support you, reach out to me at awifeprogressing{at}gmail{dot}com. I would be happy to share information with you.

Feeling supported,

T.

p.s. If you are not familiar with our beliefs or any of the terms we use, please reach out as well. I am happy to share with you. You can also find a lot of great information here.