In Case of Emergency

I have NEVER highlighted in a book that wasn't specifically designed for such a purpose (ie. text book, recovery manual, etc.). I am however, currently reading a book that I couldn't keep from highlighting. It looks like a novel, it even reads like a novel (thanks to the author's amazingly real writing style), but it is in fact not a novel, it is an autobiography. I have avoided reading much non-fiction for years because reading was my escape. Lately though, I haven't really read anything but non-fiction, mostly consisting of recovery books. 

Now that you are practically drooling to find out what this fascinating piece of literature is, I'll won't keep you in suspense anymore. It is called Carry On Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life by Glennon Doyle Melton who authors the blog Momastry. This amazingly flawed woman is as real as it gets. She is funny, insightful, irreverent in a reverent way, respects and honors God, she's a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister, a friend an addict in recovery and for me she is a beacon of hope. 

She has some of the most insightful stories out there and they are told in her witty and irreverent way while she lays herself out there for all to see. She feels it is her calling to share her story and the lessons she is learning along the way and I, for one, wholeheartedly agree. This woman was CALLED to be a storyteller and hope bringer.

Let me describe what reading this book is like. It is such a feast of words that you want to devour it as fast as you possibly can. At the same time it is like a gourmet feast that you know will be much more enjoyable when taken slowly and in pieces. It's almost agonizing to make myself read slowly and absorb what she is sharing. One time I was reading on a day I didn't have my highlighter with me and there was so much good stuff in the two chapters that I read that I had to go back and reread them and highlight them the next time I read. If you are only going to read one recovery book out there it would be hard for me to pick which to tell you, but this is one I don't think you can go wrong with (she does use some swear words, just a disclosure for you).

The most recent chapter I read was called In Case of Emergency and started out talking about how she and her sister are each other's In Case of Emergency designee. This chapter is about how she had to watch the sister she idolizes go through an incredibly hard struggle. It was such a powerful chapter for me to read. I don't even know how to sum up how it made me feel, It just spoke to me. Let me share some of my favorite lines from the chapter:

"Until then, I had only learned this about grace: sometimes, like in my case, you get blessed for no reason. You get something wonderful that you don't deserve. But on that day, I learned that the flip side is also true: sometimes you get screwed for no reason. You get something awful that you never, ever deserved…YOU CANNOT EARN YOURSELF AN EASY LIFE OR EVEN A FAIR ONE. "(emphasis added).

Glennon also had this to say about sitting with someone that is grieving: 

"When her pain is fresh and new, let her have it. Don't' try to take it away. Forgive yourself for not having that power. Grief and pain are like joy and peace; they are not things we should try and snatch from each other. They're sacred. They are part of each person's journey. All we can do is offer relief from this fear: I am all alone. That's the one fear you can alleviate. Offer your In Case of Emergency your presence, your love, yourself, so she'll understand that no matter how dark it gets, she's not walking alone. that is always enough to offer…Grief is not something to be fixed. It's something to be borne, together. And when the time is right, there is always something that is born from it…Hope is a door each one must open for herself."

For me that last line bears repeating: HOPE IS A DOOR EACH ONE MUST OPEN FOR HERSELF! 

For the first time since I found out about B's addiction, I'm starting to get it. My recovery is up to me. My recovery is separate from B's recovery. I need to recover. I have to open that door to the hope that is promised me from my Heavenly Father through His son, Jesus Christ. It is up to me to find my own way to open the door and hope!

Savoring this book,

T.