Introduction

I am married to an addict. Not a drug addict, well not in the literal sense anyway, but a pornography addict. I know many people don't think this is an addiction, that it is just some harmless entertainment. They could not be more wrong. The trauma this "harmless" addiction has caused me and my marriage is undeniable. It has left nothing but destruction in it's wake and we have hit rock bottom with nowhere to go but up.

Ok now that I've gotten the drama out of the way, well for now anyway, I'll tell you a little about myself. I married my husband nearly twenty years ago. We were young, as many in our culture are, but we were in love and looking through those rose colored glasses that the young tend to see life through. We quickly learned that life had a way of turning our plans upside down. As "B" said he finally told me after we had been married for a few years that he had a problem, what he didn't share with you was how I unknowingly contributed to his addiction. We had been married less than a year when I talked him into renting a pornographic movie from the local video store. Mind you, this was nineteen years ago, and pornography that was easily accessible then was much less aggressive and abusive than it is now, not a justification on my part, just an observation. This happened a few more times before I said "Enough!" Little did I know that this was just the tip of the iceberg of what we were to go through over the next nineteen years. 

I may not sound like the beacon of hope right now, and there is a simple reason for that, I'm not. I finally hit the bottom of utter hopelessness and I have nowhere to go but up or out. I am hoping by reading and writing this blog that I will regain that hope and the faith that my marriage can not only survive but thrive. I love my husband and I want to keep my Eternal Family intact. I want to feel something other than hopelessness and anger. 

Please pray with us. Not only our family but every other family out there that is suffering from this plague. Please pray that no other innocent families fall prey to this via addiction or, heaven forbid, losing a family member to the darkness that is the adult entertainment world. 

If you would like more information on the effects of pornography on the brain and body and how it is devastating our society then visit Fight The New Drug.  They are trying to get the message out one fighter at a time. 

I will share more about my journey and the roller coaster ride that we have been on and I will try and shed some hope on the situation, but right now I'm leaning on you guys to lend me support. I am leaning on the recovery community for strength and hope. Please know that I am here to talk to or listen to anyone who needs an ear, and I can listen to you and you can know I've been there, I AM there. I gain a little more hope every day, and whatever morsel I have I am willing to share because by sharing, my hope is not diminished but rather strengthened. 

Please feel free to email either one of us at nothingunsaid@outlook<dot>com. Ask us questions, send us links to any information you have found helpful. If you feel the need to argue with us, don't bother, the harm of pornography and the vice of addiction to it is NOT up for debate with us, we have seen it eat away at our lives for almost twenty years now. We will present our lives to you and any information that has been helpful to us along the way. 

May our Father in Heaven bless you with any measure of peace you are in need of today.

T.